Dick Van Dyke

Every now and then I think about my fantasy dinner party list - who would you invite to your ultimate dinner party?

No offence to anyone reading who isn't on my list (and that will be most of you as there's only 2 on my list so far!) - don't take it personally - this is a VERY specialist list and this just isn't your role in my life right now!

So far I only have 2 confirmed guest (well, they haven't actually confirmed yet, but I'm sure they will when I specify the date): Dick Van Dyke and Susan Warmsley. Intimate, I know. I'm struggling to add more with the quality of guest being so high.

Dick van Dyke was first on the list for obvious reasons - he would be so entertaining - he might start tap dancing with his cane, he definitely would sing and maybe he would paint a picture on the pavement?

To compliment him, I would have to have Susan Warmsley there. Her dinner-table stories are AMAZING! In particular the pig-killer story (which I think is off the agenda now - if you missed that one, you may have missed your chance - your loss) will send shivers down your spine, but she'll astound you with other stories! And I know that before the night was over, she would be doing a floor show with Dick van Dyke - and it wouldn't surprise me if she had her own tap shoes.

Dick van Dyke has always been a big part of my life - having watched Mary Poppins and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang so often growing up - I feel like he's a member of my family! So imagine my pleasure as a grown up - to be able to watch Diagnosis Murder...everyday if I choose! And now with our hard drive recorder set to record the series, I don't even have to miss any episodes! But it evens get better than that - it seems to be set to record the series indefinitely - when one series ends, it automatically starts recording again when the new one starts! So clever.

And now, it seems I have a constant reminder of my friend Dick van Dyke.

When we moved from Sheffield to Essex, I knew I was fighting a losing battle. It was just unrealistic to think that my children would keep their northern accents...despite me publicly ridiculing them when ever they slipped! After almost a year, all three children generally still say bath and path - I thought I was winning, but Sam's accent has changed in a way I wasn't ready for.

He's turned into Dick van Dyke!

I'm struggling to be able to describe in words how he's pronouncing things...but think of Dick van Dyke in Mary Poppins - remember his English accent? Thats a bit how Sam sounds at the moment! Or possibly Eliza Doolittle before Professor Higgins gets his hands on her!

Remember how she had to practice saying Aye, eeee, iiiiii, ooooo, uuuuu? Its constant now in our house, but Sam's going the other way - his school friends (and evil essex relations) are influencing him to go from saying "The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain", to "The Raaayn in Spaaaayn staaayyys maaaynly in the plaaayn."???

I don't ever want to hear you ridicule Dick van Dyke's accent, maaayte. Because thats what my son sounds like and I'm standing up and saying I still love him. sob.